Tuesday, February 24, 2009
This mom thing is hard.....
So, today is one of those days that makes me grateful that my own mother still loves me after everything I put her through. I've been having a hard time with Anistyn lately. She has developed a VERY severe case of selective listening. Most times she will just completely ignore me. In fact, right after I ask her to do something, she'll look at me and say something completely off the subject. AHHHHHHHH!!!!!!! My worst struggle is mornings. I have to fight her tooth and nail in order to get her dressed and do her hair. I can wake up and be in the best mood, but it takes her about 2 seconds to change that. I am BEYOND frustrated at this point. To top it all off, she has started wetting her pants. She has been potty trained for almost 2 years, so I have no idea where this is coming from. She has come home from school with wet pants 3 or 4 times in the last month. She has also wet her pants at dance class and has wet the bed at night a few times. Terrible 2's has nothing on the horrible 4's! Last year, (the day before Valentine's Day), Kevin and I made a goal to not yell anymore. No yelling at the kids or each other (although the at each other one never happened anyways). I'm ashamed to say that after one year and 11 days, I blew it this morning. I guess it's back to square one with that goal. I guess that's enough venting for one day. Anyone have suggestions/advice????
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10 comments:
Oh I'm sorry babe! Charlotte has wet her pants a couple of times lately, but she's only been potty trained for 4 months. Just wave your magic wand and turn Annie into a princess. Or a toad.
I'm right there with you sister. Aislynn is my challenge. She does NOT listen to me. She deliberatly disobeys me and I end up yelling at her as well. It doesn't do any good though. Nothing seems to work. Maybe it's a girl thing. If you do figure out something let me know.
It is hard to have a 4 year old! I am the worst at giving into mine instead of fighting with her because it's easier but.....the attitude she has developed on my behalf is terrible! I have started to be more consistent with my disciplining her and it has made such a difference! Just stay consistent and she will figure it out. Has something happened at school for her to want to wet her pants? That is a strange thing to all of a sudden start doing!
You're right, it's hard. Worth it, wonderful, the best thing ever. But hard. First of all, HOLY CRAP!!! YOU DIDN'T YELL FOR A YEAR!!!???!!! You're my hero. As far as the stubborn/not listening/making their mother crazy part, well here's my theory. Our kids HAVE to be stubborn. They are growing up in a world that is challenging in every way. They're going to have to decide what they believe is right and stick to it with all they have. So, while it may be giving us gray hair right now, we'll be so grateful when they're older and need that strength. For now, have a Diet Coke and know you are AWESOME AND DOING AN AMAZING JOB!!!
I'm with you !!!! Reagan has the selective listening thing going as well. I truly admire your no yelling thing - I would last about a day. Since Reagan seems to like going to time out, I have started taking things away. Sometimes that works better, but with the potty training thing..... I got nothin'. We've been working on it for what, five months? At this rate, she'll be wearing a pull up to her prom. Oh well, a princess is a princess, right? Just be patient and keep loving Annie - she'll probably grow out of it (well maybe... hopefully.... for the love of... OK just stop!)
I'm a believer that kids just go through stages. There may be a reason that she's doing all this stuff, but it's most likely that she's trying to figure out her own world and her own level of control in it, and nothing to do with you guys. When you need a break, give me a call.
No advice. Being a mom is so hard sometimes. Sorry to that you have had a hard time with her lately. Let me know if anything works for ya.
From the sounds of it she is just so highly focused on what she is doing that she isn't in tune to you (or her bladder). When you talk to her you might just want to get down on her level and then have her repeat what you just said to make sure she is really in the room with you :).
As far as wetting at school and at home just put her back on the clock and have her sit on the toilet regularly especially before school and bed. Unfortunately, that doesn't always help.
I have one who has never wet the bed in her life. One would have a bad week occasionally, then return to normal the next week. She did that through 1st grade. Then I have one who is still wetting the bed every night and he is way old. Each kid is different. Mom's are all the same though, we all hate dealing with it.
As far as the wetting is concerned though, be sure it isn't a bladder infection that might lead to bed wetting too.
Kids are so funny, just when you think you are starting to get it figured out, they change! I am impressed that you made it over a year not yelling at your kids! I need to set that goal. I don't have any great advice, but good luck! Hopefully this will be one of the short stages!
The description of your day makes me smile. My years of experience (nice way to say I'm old enough to be your mom) tells me you will someday wish that these are the biggest problems you will face with Anistyn. Day-to-day mothering is so tough but you are doing an incredible job at it! Don't give up and don't beat yourself up. I had one of those days with my oldest when he was about four. In exasperation and anger I said, "What am I going to do with you?!?" He looked at me with his big blue eyes and innocently said, "Play with me." One of my greatest mothering lessons taught to me by a toddler. Love you!!!
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